Been months since I last checked our Superfreaks website. The six of us built it during the summer after our first year in high school. I was laughin so hard reading the pages minutes ago. The site's a compilation of memories that the six of us can all go back to in the future. I just finished reading the FAQ page, and I couldn't help but shed a tear. Joke lang.
FREQUENTLY ASKED QUESTIONS
Got a question for the Superfreaks? Send it to superfreakshome@yahoo.com and they just might appear here with your name! But before you ask it, you might find
the answer you're looking for right here!
Let's start with the question we get most...
"I have gum stuck in a shag carpet, is there any way to get it out?"
A surefire way to remove gum from a shag carpet is to simply cut a huge circle out of the rug. Make sure the part you cut out has the offending gum stuck in it. Place a sofa or large chair over the cut out piece. You can cover smaller holes with Superfreaks stickers, or anything under our merchandise products. Just be sure that we will profit from it!
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"In the first Mission: Impossible could you guys figure out WHAT was going on?"
No.
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"Can I buy Superfreaks stuff from you guys?"
All Superfreaks books, toys and games and other products are licensed merchandise. This means that outside companies pay us a pathetically small fee to use the Superfreaks name, the Superfreaks logo and other Superfreaks likenesses. Superfreaks products are not manufactured, warehoused or shipped from our homes. (Which is too bad, because we'd love to get our grimy hands on free samples to give as holiday or birthday gifts!) But if you'd like to see the latest Superfreaks merchandise so you can pester your local retailer into stocking it, click here.
Just kidding.
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"Does Superfreaks buy freelance material like Chapter contributions or writeups?"
So, you want to make big bucks and earn the respect and admiration of your friends, family and neighbors, eh? Then go to medical school and do something with your life! But if you'd like to waste your time and effort and become a member of The Usual Gang of Idiots, then, yes, you may want to
try contributing. But before you dash off your brilliant ideas, make sure you know what you're doing! Or, if you're an artist, be sure it's US that you're drawing!
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"If I come to the Superfreaks office, will I be able to meet the Superfreaks?"
Before you make a special trip to the Superfreaks office, we should tell you that it's rare for any of the artists or writers to be here at the office. Almost all of them work at their own studios, and although occasionally one of them drops by to mooch a free lunch,they mostly send their work via email. (Truthfully, that's how we keep our expenses down. By keeping them off premises, we don't have to worry about them stealing office supplies, making long distance phone calls or dropping water balloons out of the window!)
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"If the Superfreaks aren't there, who IS?"
Oompa Loompas. However, if you want to be able to say "I visited the Superfreaks offices," come on by. (If you're bringing sweets, please visit on a Saturday. That's usually the day where all of us are in and we'll autograph just about anything in exchange for homemade baked goods!)
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"What's a typical day at the Superfreaks like?"
It's, like, eight hours, minus an hour for lunch.
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"No, I mean, is it wild and wacky, with people wearing funny hats, and having food fights, and doing all sorts of crazy, weird things?"
No, you're thinking of our brother website, CNN.com.
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"Is there a Superfreaks summer intern program?"
There is an excellent intern program here at Superfreaks. For college credit, a student can learn how to paint Jay-Ar's room, how to shampoo a conference room rug and even how to go for coffee.Sometimes they may even be asked to pick up a croissant, which gives the intern program an international feel.
For more information on these exciting career opportunities, just email us!
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"Okay, I'm on the website, but now I'm having trouble with my browser,
what should I do?"
Complain out loud. If that doesn't work, try bitching and moaning out loud. If all else fails you can...
1) Call Greg, and explain your problem in a cool, calm voice
(If you hear snoring on the other end of the line, call again and try to find someone else who's awake.)
2) Send a cool, calm email to superfreakshome@yahoo.com
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"Why did you pick the name 'Superfreaks' What does it stand for?"
It's the acronym for the Superfreaks motto: "Stupidity Is Timeless."Duh!
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